I have complained before about people treating me inhumanely because I stand behind a desk and wear a nametage, but today I experienced one of the perks that this can bring. People don't think of you as quite a human being when you wear a nametag. You're another faceless, nameless machine, making no dent on their day. These two gentlemen were among the less abrasive sort; instead of treating me with inhuman cruelty simply because they couldn't think of me as being on the same level as themselves, they simply ignored me. Perhaps I can take this time to offer a note of caution: just because the person with the nametag doesn't react to your conversation, doesn't mean they're not listening. Observe:
"Those Tidwells, what a nice couple. You know, I went to their 50th wedding anniversary the other day, and I found out something interesting about Bob. You'll never believe this..."
"What? Tell me."
"Well, apparently, when Bob was in the navy those long years ago, he got a tattoo. And not just any tatto, but a tatto immortalizing his girlfriend's name on some unspeakable part of his body. No, wait, get this- it's not her name!"
"What?! No way! Bob? Nice, quiet Bob?"
"Totally! [Okay, he didn't say "totally," but he totally would have if he'd been twenty years younger.] And she told me this, his wife- I asked her, 'Well, didn't he have it removed?' and she said (and with such emotion in her voice! I could tell she hated it.) 'No, I see it every night.'"
"That's crazy!"
And, indeed, it was.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Memo
TO: the world
FROM: little old me
SUBJECT: putting cards in your mouth
To whom it may concern:
It has come to my attention that some of you are in the habit of putting your library cards in your mouth while at the desk trying to check out books. I realize that trying to handle two armfuls of books with only one set of arms can be difficult, but this is no excuse. Try putting the books on the counter, and then getting your card out from your wallet. I know the sign says "Please have card ready," but I promise you that the clerk won't mind you taking the extra few seconds to get it out if it means not having to touch a slimy card. Try to see things from our perspective. You may have just held it in your teeth, or in some way tried to reduce the amount of slobber on the card, but the mouth is the most germ-filled place in the human body aside from maybe a child's hands, and once you put something in there, it enters the realm of untouchable. Ritual cleanings involving lots of soap can return the object to a state of cleanness, but it is really better to avoid the issue entirely. Thank you for your consideration, and I know things will improve if we all make an effort. If you need me, I will be in the restroom, bathing in hand sanitizer.
FROM: little old me
SUBJECT: putting cards in your mouth
To whom it may concern:
It has come to my attention that some of you are in the habit of putting your library cards in your mouth while at the desk trying to check out books. I realize that trying to handle two armfuls of books with only one set of arms can be difficult, but this is no excuse. Try putting the books on the counter, and then getting your card out from your wallet. I know the sign says "Please have card ready," but I promise you that the clerk won't mind you taking the extra few seconds to get it out if it means not having to touch a slimy card. Try to see things from our perspective. You may have just held it in your teeth, or in some way tried to reduce the amount of slobber on the card, but the mouth is the most germ-filled place in the human body aside from maybe a child's hands, and once you put something in there, it enters the realm of untouchable. Ritual cleanings involving lots of soap can return the object to a state of cleanness, but it is really better to avoid the issue entirely. Thank you for your consideration, and I know things will improve if we all make an effort. If you need me, I will be in the restroom, bathing in hand sanitizer.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Fun, fun, fun till the library takes his two books away
My co-worker just had an otherworldly experience. I share it with her permission.
Faculty member calls up, wants to renew his books. They have reached the online renewal limit, meaning that he has to bring them in. We do this so we know if they've kidnapped the book or not. He is a little annoyed at having to bring his books back. (I don't know why- faculty gets to renew books four times at 6 months each renewal- that's two years without bringing the book in!) He asks my co-worker if she can override it. To me, this is a breach in courtesy rivaled only by farting in public. You do not ask me if I can override something for you. I decide when and if I override things, and you should be on your knees, grateful that I did! Sheesh . . .
Co-worker tells faculty he has to bring the books in. Faculty says, "Well, I can come to the library this time, but I don't want this to happen again."
Excuse me? You don't want your books to expire again? You want to have them forever without need to renew or check them out? Allow me to direct you to a bookstore, sir. That's the big building with lots of books that you can actually buy. You get to keep them. Forever. This is the big building with lots of books that you can only rent. You don't get to keep them. There is a significant difference.
Epilogue
Faculty comes in to renew his books (surprisingly; some would just let FDS handle it, or refuse to come out of their office like a sulky child) and announces that he's had them for two years, and uses them a lot. I think he intends for this to be proof of why he should not have to renew them again. I only take it as a sign that he has confused us with the Bookstore. A common mistake.
I wonder what he would do if someone recalled the books . . . ? Hmmm . . .
Faculty member calls up, wants to renew his books. They have reached the online renewal limit, meaning that he has to bring them in. We do this so we know if they've kidnapped the book or not. He is a little annoyed at having to bring his books back. (I don't know why- faculty gets to renew books four times at 6 months each renewal- that's two years without bringing the book in!) He asks my co-worker if she can override it. To me, this is a breach in courtesy rivaled only by farting in public. You do not ask me if I can override something for you. I decide when and if I override things, and you should be on your knees, grateful that I did! Sheesh . . .
Co-worker tells faculty he has to bring the books in. Faculty says, "Well, I can come to the library this time, but I don't want this to happen again."
Excuse me? You don't want your books to expire again? You want to have them forever without need to renew or check them out? Allow me to direct you to a bookstore, sir. That's the big building with lots of books that you can actually buy. You get to keep them. Forever. This is the big building with lots of books that you can only rent. You don't get to keep them. There is a significant difference.
Epilogue
Faculty comes in to renew his books (surprisingly; some would just let FDS handle it, or refuse to come out of their office like a sulky child) and announces that he's had them for two years, and uses them a lot. I think he intends for this to be proof of why he should not have to renew them again. I only take it as a sign that he has confused us with the Bookstore. A common mistake.
I wonder what he would do if someone recalled the books . . . ? Hmmm . . .
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Sometimes I just hate my job
Just got off the phone with an older gentleman wanting to know where the library was. The phone conversation didn't start off well, since he replied to my little spiel with, "Well, lady, this is a guy wanting to know... blah blah blah." I was mortally offended until I realized that "Amy" and "lady" sound something alike... if you've got your hearing aid turned down. (Or if the phone connection was bad, which I think it was for a minute... it was still weird to be called "lady", though.) I tried to give him a sense of where it was in relation to other buildings on campus, but he didn't seem to understand what I was talking about. (My bad for using "student lingo," such as ASB and MOA. Is it really just lingo if they print that on their maps?)
Then I made a big mistake and mentioned that we had maps of campus online. He starts whining (yes, whining) that he didn't want to look up maps online, that was why he had called. I tried to calm him down by telling him that I had mentioned it because I needed to look it up, and he then proceeded to make fun of me for "not knowing where I was." Is it my fault I'm not a spatial thinker? Then he wanted to know which parking lot was the closest one. I gritted my teeth and asked him if he had a parking pass. "I have a handicapped pass, that's why I want the closest parking lot," he replied authoritatively. I gave him an arbitrary answer (they're all about equidistant anyway) and hung up after more teasing about my uncertainty as to my location. Serves him right if he gets a parking ticket.
[Take it to the flip side]
I just got off the phone with a pleasant old man who wanted to know where the library was. He didn't seem to have much knowledge of campus, so I gave him directions as best I could. He was handicapped, poor dear, and wanted to know which parking lot would be closest. We joked for a while, and then ended the conversation.
[Conclusion]
It's true. Bad things are more interesting than good things.
Then I made a big mistake and mentioned that we had maps of campus online. He starts whining (yes, whining) that he didn't want to look up maps online, that was why he had called. I tried to calm him down by telling him that I had mentioned it because I needed to look it up, and he then proceeded to make fun of me for "not knowing where I was." Is it my fault I'm not a spatial thinker? Then he wanted to know which parking lot was the closest one. I gritted my teeth and asked him if he had a parking pass. "I have a handicapped pass, that's why I want the closest parking lot," he replied authoritatively. I gave him an arbitrary answer (they're all about equidistant anyway) and hung up after more teasing about my uncertainty as to my location. Serves him right if he gets a parking ticket.
[Take it to the flip side]
I just got off the phone with a pleasant old man who wanted to know where the library was. He didn't seem to have much knowledge of campus, so I gave him directions as best I could. He was handicapped, poor dear, and wanted to know which parking lot would be closest. We joked for a while, and then ended the conversation.
[Conclusion]
It's true. Bad things are more interesting than good things.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Sometimes I just love my job
When I'm not working at Circulation, I work at the General Reference Desk, and boy do I get some fun questions. A women called in from Missouri or somewhere once wanting to know how to clean a journal of her father's she had found in her shed. Turns out if you're worried about germs (mice droppings, in her case) all you can do is put the book in a bag with some baking soda, leave it over night, and then brush it off veeeery carefully. ("Don't try this at home," was my suggestion to her. "Also, get it digitized.") I've had people ask me the spelling of words, the definition of words, etc. Just now I got off the phone with a nice woman from Texas who wanted to know what direction Houston was from Tomball, TX. She said she'd tried "the computer," but the way she phrased it (I would not have been surprised to hear her say "the computer machine box thing") I knew that I was starting from scratch.
It was actually pretty easy. I went to infoplease.com first and used their handy distance calculator, which told me that Tomball was 27.6 miles from Houston at 30° 5' 49", -95° 36' 57". But it did not tell me what direction they were from one another. Finally I just googled a map of Texas and looked for Houston. There was Tomball, just northwest of it. The woman was so grateful. "We drive to Houston all the time," she said, "But I can never remember which way to go."
Just doing my job, ma'am.
It was actually pretty easy. I went to infoplease.com first and used their handy distance calculator, which told me that Tomball was 27.6 miles from Houston at 30° 5' 49", -95° 36' 57". But it did not tell me what direction they were from one another. Finally I just googled a map of Texas and looked for Houston. There was Tomball, just northwest of it. The woman was so grateful. "We drive to Houston all the time," she said, "But I can never remember which way to go."
Just doing my job, ma'am.
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